Saw Red State today dears by @ThatKevinSmith ‘cos frankly he makes me moist!
Now, as I forced myself into the cramped cinema seat I was thankful for the second time today that I no longer have a pair of testicles, so tightly did I have to push my legs together. I was already in shock, as anyone who has owned or still owns a pair of testes would be, as a result of this news here. Had I not had my plums withdrawn in the 90’s my pants could have been in a Red State due to a rupture too!
As an aside I must point out that there was a trailer for ‘What’s Your Number?’ preceding Red State and what I must say to you is this: If you have seen or intend to see What’s Your Number you are a fucking cunt who deserves to die. Right, to the film!
We start off with a protest at the funeral of a gay man by a Fred Phelps-esque (look the cunt up) band of retards, one of whom is holding up the sign ‘Anal Penetration = Eternal Damnation!’. I have to say dears that despite my name I found this a bit strong. It’s bigotry of this nature that forced me to fear my homosexuality and eventually become a woman in the first place. Not only that but if you’re in the business of being spit-roasted by Milli Vanilli as a man you haven’t got a lot of choice but to take it up the wrong’un.
So dears I’m a bit confused by this film if I may be so bold. It’s funny in places because Kevin Smith is a funny fucker but it’s not intended to be a comedy. Any horror aspect doesn’t really convince, possibly because I’ve seen the human centipede which is proper fucked up, and it takes a good while for it to get going, When it does though it’s quite good even though John Goodman doesn’t tell anyone to shut the fuck up or that they’re out of their element. I’ll probably need to see it again to be sure of it but ANY @ThatKevinSmith film is likely to be superior to most of the shit that’s out there and if you haven’t seen his other stuff then go and fucking do so now!
Quentin Tarantino fucking loves this movie apparently, I can’t say the same but I do quite like it, in fact almost as much I liked being the filling in a Milli Vanilli sandwich – yay 🙂