#Mancini #mcfc OUT #Redknapp #thfc OUT #Dalglish #lfc OUT #Martinez #wigan OUT #Connor #wolves OUT #Hughes #qpr OUT #Pulis #scfc OUT #Lambert #ncfc OUT #AVB #cfc GONE! #McCarthy #wolves GONE!
Hello again dears,
McLeish, Coyle and Kean are all back in! Even more of a shock, Harry’s out! And not for the England job but because Spurs are sudenly shit and may well even lose to Bolton next week.
Mancini now tops the list (and how hilarious was that crying City fan btw?) and Kunt Kenny is right up there too – yay .
See you next week.
Eating rats in your council house is not the worst thing to befall the tribes people of the 3rd world area of Liverpool, England, anymore. Abuse of children on a massive scale is happening day in, day out, as young boys and girls are more and more often being forced to wear…A LIVERPOOL SHIRT.
The situation hit a peak last weekend when, lead by the self proclaimed ‘King Kenny of Liverpool’, leader of the LFC or ‘Lord’s Football Club’ the evil scouse hordes managed to vanquish the heroic men of Cardiff – a tribe of considerably fewer numbers who in many ways were considered to be a class below Kenny’s men.
This unprovoked attack is one of many that this evil and self righteous band have made this season but fortunately, on most other occasions, the inept militia of the LFC have spurned many open chances to wound the enemy. It is not honourable or right that Kenny’s tribe should lourd their incredibly fortunate and barely scraped victory over their opponents in such a brazen manner and the children are suffering as a result. After all the aforementioned rat does not order an open top bus parade when it manages to find a scrap of bread to feed on.
Since last Sunday, the elders of the scouse tribes have been leaving the young to fend for themselves outside the local bartering points while they furtively dart into the war zone and attempt to forage and steal LIVERPOOL SHIRTS with which they intend to brand and enslave the innocent children.
The aformentioned ‘King Kenny’ shall attempt to further torture and destroy the young of the area by making thinly veiled propaganda videos where he will be contrary, monotone and generally quite cunty. The lives of hundreds of thousands of people have been affected by the misdeeds of the LFC via the means of diving, cheating and racial abuse. Kenny and his followers have already left there mark in the past in the Belgium and Sheffield areas with other atrocities.
This evil must be stopped now before it gets the chance to grow any further and the homeland of ‘Anfield’ must be destroyed or turned into a Tesco outlet or similar. We must make Kenny famous via the means of Channel 5 next season so that all know his wrongdoings and those of his followers. Please share this so that more can become aware of the this vile terror and help bring it to an end.
#Connor #wolves OUT!
#AVB #cfc GONE! #McCarthy #wolves GONE! #Redknapp #thfc OUT #Martinez #wigan OUT #Coyle #bwfc OUT #Kean #brfc OUT #Hughes #qpr OUT #McLeish #avfc OUT #Lambert #ncfc OUT #Dalglish #lfc OUT
Hello again dears,
Another exciting day then! The awesome power of cuntspoker and my ferocious vagina have seen off McCarthy and AVB already, it’s a bloody good job for Arsene that the vile scouse were put to the sword yesterday!
So Happy Harry remains top of the tree because he’s going to manage England as the whole fucking world knows. Martinez and Wigan lost again yesterday and Dave Whelan has said that Martinez is safe so expect him to go this week – yay .
All the other relegation ‘hopefuls’ are still there along with the permanently out McLeish and Dalglish primarily cos he’s a dour scotch git but also ‘cos Liverpool were far too excited about just beating the 6th best Championship side after extra time and pens!
See you next week .
#Wenger #Arsenal OUT #AVB #Chelsea OUT #Redknapp #Spurs OUT #McLeish #Villa OUT #Kean #Blackburn OUT #Martinez #Wigan OUT #Hughes #QPR OUT #Lambert #Norwich OUT #Pardew #Newcastle OUT #Dalglish #Liverpool OUT #Pulis #Stoke OUT #McCarthy #Wolves GONE!
And that concludes the Outs for this week dears. Owen Coyle is back in after winning today and Paul Lambert is a shock potential outage. Harry is out purely for the England job and Wenger and AVB are a button push away from exploding – the cunts! Yay .
#Wenger #Arsenal OUT #McCarthy #Wolves GONE!
So dears, Mick McCarthy has already been on the receiving end of the power of cuntspoker.com, expect to see Arsene gone by the weekend – yay
#Mancini IN #Fergie IN #Redknapp OUT (for Spurs) #Redknapp IN (for England) #Wenger IN #AVB OUT #Pardew OUT #Dalglish OUT #Lambert IN #O'Neill IN #Moyes IN #Rodgers IN #Jol IN #Pulis OUT #McLeish OUT #Hodgson IN #Hughes OUT #McCarthy OUT #Kean OUT #Coyle OUT #Martinez OUT
Join us again soon dears for more updates – yay .
With the European leagues having a well earned winter break it’s time for a quick recap of where we stand so far.
I’m only putting bets that I think are good value so there won’t be a tip every week but let’s have a cunting good look at what we’ve done so far – yay .
So, first up was Everton v Manchester United – a loss but a close one on October 29th.
November 6th saw us oppose the mighty Barcelona as they visited Athletic Bilbao which was a monster winner – yay .
On November 19th we had a look at Valencia who were a big price at home to Real Madrid but were a disputed penalty away from earning us some cash.
Finally we also advocated backing Newcastle to be relegated at 50/1. Since then they’ve played 7 matches, taking only 5 points and have come down in price. Their next 2 games are at Liverpool and then home to Manchester United so a zero point haul from those games is entirely possible, especially with all the injury problems they have. If you were on I’d recommend laying off at some point before they play QPR on the 15th of Jan as that is the start of a relatively easy run of games.
Later on I’ll be back with a look at the weekend’s games dears but there’s an Ainsley Harriot special on TV and I’ve got a fresh bucket of lube! Ta ta x
Hope some of you availed yourselves of the splendid Athletic Bibao result a couple of weeks ago, if not you’re all cunts! Slightly poorer than you should be cunts too!
I’ve not taken my HRT pills yet this morning so forgive my aggression you utter fucking arseholes! Right, to business. A few teams spring to mind this weekend. Starting with good old blighty and the PL we have backing potential with Norwich and Swansea, and before you start yes I know who they’re playing just like I knew who Bilbao were playing – yay . Laying Manchester City appeals to me too and not just because they’re a load of bitter bastards.
On to foreign climes and nothing really appeals in Italy but there is a standout game in Spain today as Valencia take on Real Madrid. Real are top of the league and are quite clearly the best team in Spain right now, no matter what Barcelona fanboys might think. However, Valencia are strong at home, undefeated in fact and were both 1-0 and 2-1 up a month or so ago v Barca before drawing 2-2 in the end. This is the Spanish equivalent of Chelsea v Man City and there’s no way Chelsea would be the 5/1 Valencia currently are on Betfair in that fixture, clearly a ludicrous price.
So before I settle on that fucker let’s look at Norwich v Arsenal. Norwich for their part received red cards and penalties galore against them early doors which obviously hindered their progress. Aside from last week’s Villa result they drew with Liverpool and gave Chelsea and Man United proper scares, as well as rescuing a 3-3 with Blackburn having been 3-1 down. Arsenal are back in form but aside from the unbelievable Chelsea result have played nobody during their winning streak. Besides, stop Van Rapi…I mean Persie and you stop the team who it seems are as defensively frail as before.
Swansea play nice football, for a time gave Man City a game and they’re at home where they recently smashed Bolton. United are still largely terrible and I wouldn’t put anyone off opposing them here but it’s not the bet for me. A big price if it comes off though.
Finally we get to Man City dears, slags that they are. Recently exposed by the might of Wolves and scared shitless at times in the last game v QPR, they seem ludicrously short to beat Newcastle who somehow, despite being shit and deluded, remain unbeaten. Nevertheless, although I want Newcastle to get relegated I have to give their performance this season some respect. Unless the tosser Tevez somehow ends up coming on and scores a couple in the wrong goal as a protest it will be tough for the Toon.
So my cunty dears – the bet for this week is Valencia – yay .
I thought I’d tell you about the time I made Sepp get his blatter out – yay . Sepp Blatter seems to be in the news again so I think the time is right to let the cat out of the bag and inform you, my loyal cunts, of my exploits with the dirty fucker.
Let me take you back to Leeds in 2004. Despite having had my tackle lopped off over a decade earlier I could still kick a football with some style. Imagine my delight when David Batty approached me for help in bringing the Transexual World Cup to Leeds – you didn’t know Batty was a tranny did you dears? The clue’s in the name! Anyway, I was of course more than happy to try and get the inaugural TWC to England. I wasn’t happy that it was supposed to be in Leeds as the Leeds folk, and Yorkshire peeps in general, are generally a bunch of sheep shagging scum – no offence!
So, knowing that Sepp, the little blighter, was partial to a bit of ‘hospitality’ if you catch my drift I invited him to Leeds to show him a good time and hopefully secure his vote. He had a glint in his eye when he met me and, aside from being a fan of mine in my soap opera days, he also had an exotic taste in adult magazines. A copy of Transexual Climax seemed to fall out of his briefcase although of course he denied that it had anything to do with him .
I escorted him to his hotel room and once inside he dragged me into the lavvy, forcing me to my knees. I like to be dominated dears so I was slightly disappointed when he didn’t follow up with a backhander but you can’t have everything. This is it, I thought, this is where Sepp gets his Blatter out! I waited, almost panting, for him to unsheathe his throbbing two incher when shock horror, I noticed someone else’s lipstick on his member. The bastard!
I was fucking enraged, not because he’d been putting it about but because I recognised the colour of the lipstick – crossdresser cream - Lily Savage’s favourite shade! “You cunt!”, I cried, “you’ve already given the Transexual World Cup to the scousers haven’t you?!”. He said nothing but continued to proffer his plonker in the hope he’d get a noshing. “No fucking chance pal”, said I before punching him in the spuds.
I called the whore Savage and gave her a piece of my mind for at least half an hour by which time Sepp was back on his feet. He sat next to me and apologised, I was right and he’d already awarded the TWC to fucking Liverpool. He then slapped my arse and called me a “white honky” as he headed for the door.
“Isn’t that a bit racist?”, I asked, shocked.
“There is no racism, there is maybe one of the players towards another, he has a word or a gesture which is not the correct one”, he replied.
I had no fucking idea what he was talking about dears but as a right-minded lady I said “Sepp, this is a game”. At which point our meeting concluded and we shook hands – yay .
Hello again my dears. Not a bad week last week all in all. The main bet could well have come off if the Baines free kick had gone in. Man Utd were shit again, and again in midweek, and again yesterday, and the rampaging reds of the early season seem to have disappeared I do wonder dears how long this terrible form can go on without results dropping off. Having said that it lasted all of last season to good effect – yay
Laying Man City against Wolves was also mentioned last time and were it not for a goalkeeping fuck up a draw was looking possible. Even after that with the penalty and City down to 10 men it could have been a cracking result but sadly it was not to be.
Chelsea v Arsenal was a different matter though, a 6.0 winner with the option of more if you’d opposed a weak looking Chelsea back line when they were ahead in-running. 8 goals and it was still a pretty average game, walking pace for most of it with no challenges of note. Even a potential Nazi salute from Van Rapist didn’t really liven things up.
So to this week my lovelies and we have 4 short listed teams. Remember that I will be wagering on the betting exchanges and not normally backing at less than 5.0 or laying at higher than 1.2. While I was tempted to go for backing Blackburn and laying United yesterday I couldn’t really see either coming off, although Blackburn had their chances it seems. AC Milan were also an option, seemingly very short priced against Catania today.
The bet of this week though dears it to oppose Barcelona(!). This has proved fruitful before this season and hopefully can again this evening. Whether you back Bilbao or lay Barca is up to you, I will be laying Barca even though they’re not quite as short as I would like. The first reason for opposing Barcelona is Athletic Bilbao’s home form. Like Atletico Madrid they very rarely get turned over by visiting teams (in fact last season the equivalent fixture between Bilbao and Barca was a draw). Athletic are also on a 6 game unbeaten run in La Liga, a run that has seen them face some tricky opponents and come through unscathed.
So a solid case for Athletic but what of our friends from twatalonia? Well they’ve just beaten Pizen or someone in the Champions League 4-0 but let’s face it dears my transexual support group could do the same. I would say that my domestic violence support group could thrash them too but for some reason the ladies there have gone off beatings. If we return to league form Barca have posted a couple of sketchy 1-0 away wins to the giants of Granada and Sporting Gijon and got a lucky draw at Valencia before that. They also failed to get the better of Sevilla at home a couple of weeks ago although they did take Mallorca to school last week.
In other news I have also backed Newcastle to be relegated at 50/1. Newcastle are a shit club with shit, deluded fans who know fuck all about football. The fallacy that ‘Toon’ fans are the most loyal in the land can soon be shown for the bollocks it is when you look at their attendances pre Keegan so don’t believe any of that bullshit! They haven’t really played anyone and their next three games come against City, United and Chelsea. A zero point haul from that run will hopefully see them freefall Hull style into the relegation zone – yay .
ountryman of Diego Forlan. Diego Forlan is not a cheat though. He is instead the scorer of many wonderful goals. One of my favourites, entirely at random dears, is here .
So back to Louis Suarez who is a cheating c…
retin and and should probably be shot. If a gentle breeze goes anywhere near him he hits the floor quicker than you can say “hola”.
Every time he gets near an opposition defender it’s like little rockets have gone off in his boots, immediately throwing him off his feet and the reason for that is his unsavoury dirty cheating nature.
I can’t watch Liverpool games anymore dears (no bad thing a lot of you might say, and you’d be right!) because the second that diving little scrote goes down in the first minute my blood pressure escalates and my brand new tits shake like they’re about to explode.
The hilarious prospect of the scousers dropping points to Wigan or similar is too badly offset by the possibility that my vagina might become so irritated that it will develop its own gravitational pull and suck in the whole universe. If you put a copy of the yellow pages up there it’d get torn in two the very moment that he hits the deck.
But enough of my vagina . What I’m trying to say is that Louis Suarez is a cheating c…
ontemptible little shit who, if I had my way, would face a Swansea team this weekend who’d just brought Roy Keane out of retirement to play. Roy would then give him a real reason to roll around the place.
In short then dears, I’d like to leave you with this final thought:
LOUIS SUAREZ IS A CHEATING CUNT!
Some new shit here today. I’m going to dabble in some footie tips because basically I’m fucking great – yay .
Today’s tip, much as it pains me, is Everton. Manchester United have been playing terribly for weeks. A lucky draw v Stoke and win v Norwich and shocking Champions League performances. Then there was the fortunate point v Liverpool and let’s not talk about last week. Everton are solid, improving all the time and have Louis Saha ready to stick it up his former club, providing he doesn’t stub his toes or something. So there you have it, put a couple of quid on Everton today. Notable other betting options are Arsenal at Chelsea and if you’re feeling particularly brave lay Man City v Wolves!
Sol – entirely heterosexual.
Wojciech Szczęsny – Polish for Arse Bandit
Robin Van Rapist
PS We don’t really give a shit that there’s two ‘keepers and that others have left so shove that up your cunts dears!