So there I was, with some time to kill and for once totally sober, when I saw a poster with Katie Holmes on it. Rarely has such a fine scenario crossed my line of vision so I thought ‘fuck it’ I’ll go and check out this little horror story. The real horror of course is that she married that Scientologist midget Tom Cruise. Sad to say that while Katie is still a fine set of pipes she’s been somewhat spoiled by her association with the aforementioned midget. As someone who endured a couple of episodes of Dawson’s Crack or whatever it was called just to check her out it’s fairly obvious I’m a fan – yay :).
On a seperate note I was cunting some people off on Twitter earlier and found a few people, Americans largely, saying that stuff was ‘addicting’. What the fuck does that mean? If they mean ‘addictive’ then just fucking say it, it’s not like they’re saving on letters. Fucking morons whoever they are! Anyway back to Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark!
A fuck off bucket of popcorn beside me I sip my beverage and prepare for the film, and if I’m lucky a discreet frig to the Holmes woman. About 5 minutes in and some old geezer has taken some kind of tool to some woman’s face and bashed most of her teeth out, quite unsavoury I’m sure you’ll agree. More unsavoury though was two tarts rushing in late and gathering their breath rather loudly during a crucial and emotional scene. Said tarts then proceeded to discuss various crucial life issues right in my bloody earhole practically. At first I couldn’t make out the accent but I should have known really, they were of course – SCOUSERS!
Said scouse bitches went on to discuss the most bloody of miscarriages as well as talking about the 800 quid a month they earned as full time ‘workers’ – an oxymoron of course, yay 🙂 – and how much they liked the cock. In the end I could take it no more, kicked them both in their cunts and told them that if I wanted scouse commentary I’d buy the fucking DVD! Or download it at the least. As they left crying I managed to catch the end and sneak out the back way before the fucking pigs arrived.
Anyway if the makers of this film need a quote this is it – I fucking love this film and would have masturbated to it were it not for the rancid scouse whores in the row behind me – yay 🙂 10/10!