It turns out that Betunfair are cunts. At Betunfair there is a cold calling department staffed with a load of girls that have narrowly avoided the sex trade. Of course HR and marketing types frown upon that name so they call it ‘Outbound Telemarketing’ or ‘OBTM’ in their marketing lingo, but still pay below minimum wage. Anyway, the lads upstairs thought it would be hilarious if they kept it a secret that they intended on making everybody in OBTM redundant, no to mention ensuring that nobody would consider a timely illness before what would turn out to be their last payday. Then on payday morning they sent a French cunt in to tell them that they have one hour to delete all the shit off their PC, collect all their peasant belongings and then security would be assisting them in slinging their fucking hooks. ‘But its Christmas’ cried the penniless eastern European girls. ‘Get a dick up your cracking arses and Fuck off’ cried napoleon scrooge.
Amongst the assortment of lovelies there was the odd wrong un, the one that got wasted at office parties -Ivana. She was just unattractive enough that I could feel like the one giving a favour, but not ugly enough that it would cause people to question my soundness because of the sheer inhumanity of it if I had to make a frank admission at a later date. On her first day at work HR told her she could find all of the training materials on the intranet. To this day she always points out the typo on her ‘intranet bill’. In short – she’s thick as fuck. In public of course you’d maintain that you wouldn’t shag her with a stolen dick, but she was fairly easy by all accounts so it was really just a matter of timing, plying her with a litre of vodka and a fortuitous moment when nobody is looking so you can leave with her. This Friday is the office Xmas do…. with an open bar and the traditional vodka luge. This Friday was to be my night for a nailed-on tenner on a 35/1 shot and a possible dose! Betunfair have fucked up OBTM Roulette.
[User submitted ‘It turns out…’ from ‘Bob@bigdildos’. For his post Bob wins a rather tastefully done picture of Eileen’s clitoris. Well done Bob.]