Hero or Villain? Ref books football player for simulated dying
ref booked player (Goran Tunjic) for simulated dying
Player booked for diving had suffered heart attack
Goran Tunjic, a 32-year-old defender playing for the Mladost FC, collapsed in the 35th minute of the County League match against Hrvatski Sokola, prompting the referee to approach the player with yellow card in his hand.
Tragically, however, the player had suffered a fatal heart attack.
The official quickly realised what had happened and called for medical aid, but Tunjic died despite being rushed to a nearby hospital.
"Doctors tried to help him but there was nothing they could do," a club spokesman said of the player, who had no previous medical problems.
"He just fell dead on the spot."
football player is now Goran to heaven
Goran Tunjic was one of the most peace loving humanists you are ever likely to meet. He was such a perfect human being that he was known as "Goran to heaven" because that we where he was guaranteed to go. "Goran to his rightful place beside God" Tunjic never sinned. In fact people were sure he was the 2nd coming of Jesus.
He made the priests feel ashamed when he came to confession because he never really had anything to confess and the priests had to think of something or agree it was a sin otherwise they would be pulled out of a job and the choirboys.
One minute Goran Tunjic is playing football and the next thing he knows he is floating before the Pearly Gates. He is a bit surprised at the turn of events. St Simon Peter ushers him over. Not a nice bit of totty, which would help to brighten up eternity, but you can’t always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need. Which reminded St Simon Peter that the music in heaven was still shit, after all, the good musicians were not exactly angels and that was the problem.
St Simon Peter started looking at this man before him. Fuck! What an Angel, what a Saint. St Simon Peter could swear all the fuck he liked because he had to be forgiven. Swearing helped the fact that his transfer request to Satans army had been turned down. That had really pissed him off. He had thought eternal life was a great idea. Until you had to be surrounded by all these C’s.
Not as bad as his mate Arch Angel Gabriel though. There they were, Michael and his gang, organising the biggest takeover in the history of eternity, in the history of the universe. Because it was the whole universe and eternity they were trying to take over. Did those cunts include Gabriel? Who they had known for eternity (if the past is eternity or how long is eternities past?). Fuck no. Because they knew Gabe liked to suck the big one, or suck up to the big one.
St Simon Peter looked at this perfect man in front of him. More perfect than Jesus and St Simon Peter knew what he was talking about. Goran Tunjic had not even turned water into wine so the wedding party people could get totally drunk and the married men could lust or do lust. Goran Tunjic had not even stolen some poor kids supper and pretended that he had given it. And thank God that the true meaning of Jesus riding the donkey had been hidden all these years. No wonder people called donkeys asses after that day. No wonder that herd of pigs decided that running and jumping off a cliff was a better option when Jesus came to visit them. And as for temple rage when he had been short changed...
St Simon Peter looked at perfect Goran Tunjic and thought, god will be pleased, it was worth the embarringsing episode of forgetting about his son on the cross and leaving him there.... "father, father, why have your foreskinned me?" Thank God that Gods plans were ineffable.
St Simon Peter looked at Goran Tunjic and waved him towards the gates when suddenly Goran Tunjic found himself being jabbed up the ass with a hot poker and lots of scary people in strange outfits were laughing around him. And Goran Tunjic had not even been reincarnated as a King in the middle ages or as Michael “I did tell him I wanted him to drown in seamen” Barrymore.
Goran Tunjic looked at the note in his hand
"Can’t believe you got a yellow and did not confess it or even say sorry.
If only you had confessed.
Rules is the rules and I got to follow them.
You booked your own ticket here.
Remind Michael to take you off my transfer fee, thanks.
St Simon Peter"