articunts - poker stories and non poker articles


Articunts - lots of poker stories and non poker articles. funny, shocking and some a very sad reflection on society and the writers.


fred west rosemary west story

"Greetings, Fred West here. You might remember from such news stories as the Cromwell Street murders or the lesser known story from the Gloucester gazette in April of 1978, raising doubts about my character after our Rose was hospitalised when she fell arse-first onto a upturned chair leg forty-seven times."

North, South, East, Fred West


cuntspoker blogs


poker blog mrs homophobes

poker blog miguel and clive


poker blog analemma


articunts and stuff

The best articunts are lowlighted below this but here are some other sections you may have difficulty to find on this 100% cuntified site.


Obitchuary includes Texas Dolly RIP

Hero or Villain? includes Ref books football player for dying!

Book Libelrary RE:views of Poker books and the original Super System ... the Poker Bible study

cuntspoker forum = cunts+forum+notmuchpoker = cuntspoker forum

If you feel you have what it takes to make a good cuntribution to cuntspoker and want your own cuntsblog then cuntact us


I'm A Homophobe – GET ME OUT OF HERE Part 2


christopher biggins sword of damocles rocky horror picture show

"I looked around me and quickly saw Christopher Biggins being bummed by the old geezer from Star Trek and Rhona Cameron was flicking her bean and paying my tits far too much attention already. Them two jocks from channel 5 were doing some interior decorating of each other's anuses and Wayne Sleep just generally minced around while he awaited the results of his 19th AIDS test."

I'm A Homophobe – GET ME OUT OF HERE Part 2


Robert Varkonyi Obitchuary - Birthday Bubble Boy


Robert Varkonyi died dead details of wsop main champion death

Robert Varkonyi Obitchuary - 50th Birthday Bubble Boy


1 click technology


1 click technology from cuntspoker

1 click technology from cuntspoker

1 click technology - from cuntspoker


Venereal Tourism - Clap Tours™ the Big 5


venereal diseases tourism - charlotte church vaginal herpes

"I went to Cardiff to kill birds with stone: number one, to follow up with a contact who had some information regarding a strain of Gonorrhoea which turns your penis inside out, and two, to check out the local Herpes haunts - which are without doubt the best in the world."

Venereal Tourism- Clap Tours™ the Big 5: #2 Herpes


venereal diseases clap tours holidays

"The package holiday industry is a tough one to crack ... cuntspoker's Clap Tours™ offer a genuine industry first - Venereal Tourism. All-inclusive packages, to headline destinations, where our customers can bring home a unique souvenir that no other travel company offers - a venereal disease "

Venereal Tourism- Clap Tours™ the Big 5: #1 Crabs


To read the rest of the "Clap Tours™ the Big 5" visit Miguel and Clives blog


Obitchuary - RIP Annette_15


RIP Annette_15 - the Plump and Circumstance of her death

"An online poker prodigy from the tender age of 15, Annette shot to fame in 2007 after winning the inaugural WSOPE Main Event for a cool £1,000,000 pay day - at the time becoming the youngest ever Main Event champion, and the only female world champ in history. Well, I say World Champion, in those days there were so few runners it was effectively a Sit and Go"

RIP Annette_15 - the Plump and Circumstance of her death


Portuguese Breakfast


Portuguese Breakfast ingredients method female sex games

"4. Position yourself over the gaping vagina with your penis pointing downwards, and proceed to fuck her vociferously for a minimum of 10 minutes, occasionally withdrawing to the check consistency of your mixture. This is where I find a fanny like a wizard’s sleeve advantageous as it naturally accommodates a wider circular stirring motion more easily than the less elastic varieties. "

How to make a Portuguese Breakfast


Shark scopes north of the river

articunts - cuntspoker articles and stories - fiction, fact and some not about poker

"So, I open for a pony with K7 in early position yeah, and the tight-aggressive caant in the cut-off free-betted me to a ton. Aye faackin' aye I thought to myself, this caaant hasn’t free-betted anyone all game yeah, he must have fack all innit."

Shark scopes north of the river


Under Complicated - Main Events around a WSOP elimination

WSOP Main Event elimination knockout story

"Your other hand claws at the table top, gripping it ever tighter, in real danger of snapping it, such is your rage, as a million death fantasies run through your mind.
You've just been knocked out of the World Series of Poker Main Event for fuck's sake - you just don't need this fucking shit."

Under Complicated - unforkunate WSOP Main Event knockout


Chris Olaafson of poker Up Your Ante fame - cuntspoker sponsored pro who loves cuntback

Chris Olaafson Up Your Ante - cuntspoker sponsored pro loves cuntback

"I like to look good, with the exception of the homeless, who doesn't?"

Chris Olaafson loves cuntback as you can have your cunt and eat it


poker Bankroll builder - insane in da membrain

building your poker cash bankroll

"Now he had no objection to Cypress Hill, none whatsoever. The use of the word 'nigga' wasn't offensive to him, just as it clearly wasn't to the black guy mangling the lyrics above at full volume. Even if it had been offensive, to anyone, at any time, for any reason, the size of the black fellow across the way ensured that an interjection was unlikely."

poker Bankroll builder - insane in da Cypress Hill membrain


AIDS in the baby milk


breastfeeding universal signs miguel and clive cuntspoker

"My story begins in a backstreet cardroom in Harare, Zimbabwe. I had recently moved to Zimbabwe after going broke on the Togo poker scene when bluffing away my Elephant washing equipment and my only copy of Phil Gordon’s Little Green Book of Poker with 72 off in the ‘Big Game’."

AIDS in the baby milk – an exposè by Miguel and Clive

AIDS in the baby milk bottles story conspiracy

"There was an AIDS scare in 1999 but bizarrely the test seemed to have been defective. Luckily for them they are both clear and nothing is inherently wrong, nothing that is except for the fact that their first born daughter is going to grow up to be a right little twat and no fucking mistake."

AIDS in the baby milk. HIV? Are you positive?

AIDS in the baby milk bottles story conspiracy

"My Brothers and Sisters in Christ, is AIDS the ultimate Christian virus? Is AIDS the sinners purifier disease? Did AIDS in the baby Jesus milk mean that sinners would be purified as they would go to heaven? "

AIDS in the baby Jesus milk - Joseph begat AIDS riddled Jesus


2 mongs don't make a right

cripples cabbage patch kids mongs headstick online poker article disabled poker spastic

"i can use compter and i have a hat for my hed to lean frward and oress the keys with to type and crer moves weelchair to desk anf and i move head into keys to type words like now yay smiley face in the shops we bought some savory rice y dont they have unsavoury"

2 mongs don't make a right :) yay smiley face :)


Miguel and Clive

Pope Bigus Benedickus stop cock malta

"So the pope is visiting Malta - the most catholic country in the world. This news has caused somewhat of scandal amongst the local left-footers, not because he condones fucking kids in the ass, but because of a penis in the middle of a roundabout."

Stop Cock? Pope visits protesting Malta and Clive visits the Vatican

jennifer tilly tits boobs cleavage

"Personally, I want to see a woman taking a damn good rogering. You need to see a dirty great cock ploughing away like the piston on a steam train - not in gay way you understand. All of this leads me to the shocking conclusion that lesbian porn is dissatisfying - for all parties concerned."

Lesbian porn and Sock Puppeteers - are you on the fence?


you ever see two lions fuck, faggot?

animal farm sex lions mating shagging fucking photograph articunts articles stories cuntspoker

"Actions speak louder than words, you should know that. Which is why you should be less concerned about me calling you a nigger and more concerned about this". With that he leapt up, using the crown of his head as a fist, giving a devastating uppercut, almost breaking the jaw of his nemesis."

You ever see two lions fuck, faggot?


the Book Libelrary


IF ... you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs

Recto the cuntspoker Libelrarian reviews all the poker books out there in the poker Book Libelrary and also some normal books and poetry that can be found in the Book Suppository. If you think poetry is for NITS then read the modern day poem "free enterprise in the waste management industry" and you may be shocked and delighted.

Recto has started a bad beat poker Bible study for keen stud ents of the game.


Hero or Villain?

football player booked for playing dead on the pitch by referree

Hero or Villain? Football player booked by Referee for dying during game

Other Freedom Fighters or Terrorists include Pope Hitler moustache graffiti :) Walmart shop announcement :) medieval metaphysic propaganda :) man assaults police with his penis and more demigoods or demicunts


the death of Queen Lizard II

the death of Queen Elizabeth II - how she died and why the Queen of England, Britain and the Commmonwealth id dead

"When it was first announced that a hamster and internal injuries were to blame for the Queen Elizabeths death it was instantly assumed that the Prince of Greekstyle was to blame. But with the arrest of David Icke and a statement issued by the police linking him to the death of the Queen and Head of the Commonwealth, the horrible story of our beloved Queens manner of death has now been made public."

How Queeen Elizabeth II died - the inside story of the Queens death


Random Shit

Annette Obrestad wins her first WSOP Bracelet

Annette Obrestad - pokers all about lying and she should know

911 OMG! Drinking Game September 11th Two Thousand & Fun!

Whats this? A dead one of these! Is this story a joke?

Who was the man who who started the online poker party?

Merkles Boner - Baseballs funniest legend and name

The Asswin Project for Donkeys - A poker Donkey's prayer

Top 10 list of poker things that cunt you off

Craig Davids World Cup song


List of cuntspoker stories about poker

If you want to read a poker story then here is a list of cuntspoker stories that are a poker story