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articunts and stuff

Obitchuary includes Texas Dolly RIP

Hero or Villain? includes Ref books football player for dying!

Book Libelrary RE:views of Poker books and the original Super System ... the Poker Bible study

cuntspoker forum = cunts+forum+notmuchpoker = cuntspoker forum

If you feel you have what it takes to make a good cuntribution to cuntspoker and want your own cuntsblog then cuntact us

I'm A Homophobe – GET ME OUT OF HERE Part 2

"I looked around me and quickly saw Christopher Biggins being bummed by the old geezer from Star Trek and Rhona Cameron was flicking her bean and paying my tits far too much attention already. Them two jocks from channel 5 were doing some interior decorating of each other's anuses and Wayne Sleep just generally minced around while he awaited the results of his 19th AIDS test."

I'm A Homophobe – GET ME OUT OF HERE Part 2

Robert Varkonyi Obitchuary - Birthday Bubble Boy

Robert Varkonyi Obitchuary - 50th Birthday Bubble Boy

1 click technology

1 click technology from cuntspoker

1 click technology - from cuntspoker

Venereal Tourism - Clap Tours™ the Big 5

"I went to Cardiff to kill birds with stone: number one, to follow up with a contact who had some information regarding a strain of Gonorrhoea which turns your penis inside out, and two, to check out the local Herpes haunts - which are without doubt the best in the world."

Venereal Tourism- Clap Tours™ the Big 5: #2 Herpes

"The package holiday industry is a tough one to crack ... cuntspoker's Clap Tours™ offer a genuine industry first - Venereal Tourism. All-inclusive packages, to headline destinations, where our customers can bring home a unique souvenir that no other travel company offers - a venereal disease "

Venereal Tourism- Clap Tours™ the Big 5: #1 Crabs

To read the rest of the "Clap Tours™ the Big 5" visit Miguel and Clives blog

Obitchuary - RIP Annette_15

"An online poker prodigy from the tender age of 15, Annette shot to fame in 2007 after winning the inaugural WSOPE Main Event for a cool £1,000,000 pay day - at the time becoming the youngest ever Main Event champion, and the only female world champ in history. Well, I say World Champion, in those days there were so few runners it was effectively a Sit and Go"

RIP Annette_15 - the Plump and Circumstance of her death

Portuguese Breakfast

"4. Position yourself over the gaping vagina with your penis pointing downwards, and proceed to fuck her vociferously for a minimum of 10 minutes, occasionally withdrawing to the check consistency of your mixture. This is where I find a fanny like a wizard’s sleeve advantageous as it naturally accommodates a wider circular stirring motion more easily than the less elastic varieties. "

How to make a Portuguese Breakfast

Shark scopes north of the river

"So, I open for a pony with K7 in early position yeah, and the tight-aggressive caant in the cut-off free-betted me to a ton. Aye faackin' aye I thought to myself, this caaant hasn’t free-betted anyone all game yeah, he must have fack all innit."

Shark scopes north of the river

Under Complicated - Main Events around a WSOP elimination

"Your other hand claws at the table top, gripping it ever tighter, in real danger of snapping it, such is your rage, as a million death fantasies run through your mind.
You've just been knocked out of the World Series of Poker Main Event for fuck's sake - you just don't need this fucking shit."

Under Complicated - unforkunate WSOP Main Event knockout

Chris Olaafson of poker Up Your Ante fame - cuntspoker sponsored pro who loves cuntback

"I like to look good, with the exception of the homeless, who doesn't?"

Chris Olaafson loves cuntback as you can have your cunt and eat it

poker Bankroll builder - insane in da membrain

"Now he had no objection to Cypress Hill, none whatsoever. The use of the word 'nigga' wasn't offensive to him, just as it clearly wasn't to the black guy mangling the lyrics above at full volume. Even if it had been offensive, to anyone, at any time, for any reason, the size of the black fellow across the way ensured that an interjection was unlikely."

poker Bankroll builder - insane in da Cypress Hill membrain

AIDS in the baby milk

"My story begins in a backstreet cardroom in Harare, Zimbabwe. I had recently moved to Zimbabwe after going broke on the Togo poker scene when bluffing away my Elephant washing equipment and my only copy of Phil Gordon’s Little Green Book of Poker with 72 off in the ‘Big Game’."

AIDS in the baby milk – an exposè by Miguel and Clive

"There was an AIDS scare in 1999 but bizarrely the test seemed to have been defective. Luckily for them they are both clear and nothing is inherently wrong, nothing that is except for the fact that their first born daughter is going to grow up to be a right little twat and no fucking mistake."

AIDS in the baby milk. HIV? Are you positive?

"My Brothers and Sisters in Christ, is AIDS the ultimate Christian virus? Is AIDS the sinners purifier disease? Did AIDS in the baby Jesus milk mean that sinners would be purified as they would go to heaven? "

AIDS in the baby Jesus milk - Joseph begat AIDS riddled Jesus

2 mongs don't make a right

"i can use compter and i have a hat for my hed to lean frward and oress the keys with to type and crer moves weelchair to desk anf and i move head into keys to type words like now yay smiley face in the shops we bought some savory rice y dont they have unsavoury"

2 mongs don't make a right :) yay smiley face :)

Miguel and Clive

"So the pope is visiting Malta - the most catholic country in the world. This news has caused somewhat of scandal amongst the local left-footers, not because he condones fucking kids in the ass, but because of a penis in the middle of a roundabout."

Stop Cock? Pope visits protesting Malta and Clive visits the Vatican

"Personally, I want to see a woman taking a damn good rogering. You need to see a dirty great cock ploughing away like the piston on a steam train - not in gay way you understand. All of this leads me to the shocking conclusion that lesbian porn is dissatisfying - for all parties concerned."

Lesbian porn and Sock Puppeteers - are you on the fence?

you ever see two lions fuck, faggot?

You ever see two lions fuck, faggot?

the Book Libelrary

Recto the cuntspoker Libelrarian reviews all the poker books out there in the poker Book Libelrary and also some normal books and poetry that can be found in the Book Suppository. If you think poetry is for NITS then read the modern day poem "free enterprise in the waste management industry" and you may be shocked and delighted.

Recto has started a bad beat poker Bible study for keen stud ents of the game.

Hero or Villain?

Hero or Villain? Football player booked by Referee for dying during game

Other Freedom Fighters or Terrorists include Pope Hitler moustache graffiti :) Walmart shop announcement :) medieval metaphysic propaganda :) man assaults police with his penis and more demigoods or demicunts

the death of Queen Lizard II

"When it was first announced that a hamster and internal injuries were to blame for the Queen Elizabeths death it was instantly assumed that the Prince of Greekstyle was to blame. But with the arrest of David Icke and a statement issued by the police linking him to the death of the Queen and Head of the Commonwealth, the horrible story of our beloved Queens manner of death has now been made public."

How Queeen Elizabeth II died - the inside story of the Queens death

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